I confess that once in a while... I am jealous of your flowing hair.

But then I think about all of the terrible things that happen to people when their long hair gets caught in factory equipment. And I simultaneously smile that you are not a factory worker, and smile about being bald.

Don't mention that you could bring me snacks unless you are actually on your way with the snacks in hand. It makes me frowny.

In related news... I need a beverage. Hop to it.

It's times like these that I regret trading my slaves for that Hoveround. A Hoveround isn't going to bring me snacks or a beverage.

Toes, unlike fingers, should never be used for counting.

They are far too short. Unless you are some sort of circus freak. And in that case, you have bigger problems than counting numbers beyond 10.

Circus freaks, so I imagine, are constantly being attacked by angry villagers with pitchforks. Not because of their freakishly long toes, but because the games of skill are rigged so you can't win. And that's not right. And if something isn't right, it was most likely the circus freaks who made it all wrong.

It's all quite logical, really.

The site has been incredibly slow lately. So if'n you come here one day and the site is down, it's because I've gotten tired of it and am rebuilding it. With more cowbell.

If I had a bajillion dollars I'd be all like holy hell where am i going to put all of these dollars because a bajillion takes up a lot of space and did the US Mint ever even print that many dollars because if it did they are probably pretty pissed that they are all missing and holy crap i have all the dollars and now people are going to be starving in China even though they don't typically use dollars to buy food because they have their own currency that i've never seen before but which probably has pictures of people with dark hair on it and i wonder why in hair commercials they always pick people who have too much hair like the landlord i had in thionville who was also most likely a very lazy serial killer in that he never bothered to kill anyone but he thought about it a lot so i tended to steer clear of him even that one time when he was totally being attacked by midgets dressed as flying monkey ninjas.